Houston … Wii Have a Problem!
By Dianne Armitage
I’ve been watching the phenomena known as Wii for ages, and after finally managing to lose weight last year, began yearning for something I could do in the privacy of my own home to not only keep the weight off, but hopefully get me in better shape overall. When I received the Wii and accompanying Wii Fitness software for Christmas this year I was ecstatic. Finally, I had all the tools I needed.
For those of you who are Wii aficionados, let me just say, I hold you in awe. Little did I realize while eagerly waiting for my husband to hook everything up that in short order I would be ready to give new meaning to Wii Fit, because I was having a Wii bit of one pretty quickly! I have to admit, it’s a love/hate relationship – but I’m pretty sure Wii both feel the same!
First off, if you are not familiar with Wii, it’s a gaming station created by Nintendo®. Those smart little gaming devils decided it wasn’t enough to have teens and tweens hooked, oh no, they needed to put a big lasso around us couch potatoes and pull us (saggy body parts and all) into the world of computerized fitness.
Wii allows you to bowl, golf, box – God only knows what all – with a computer. With the Wii Fit Program you can do everything from downhill skiing to tightrope walking without ever leaving the comfort of your living room. There’s this “cute” little platform you stand on that assesses your weight, body mass index and overall balance in order to track your progress as you make your way through a daily workout.
I should have known I was in for quite a ride when I first stepped on the “cute” little platform and it said “OH!” I might not have taken this personally, but I knew firsthand it could also say “GREAT!” So I have a platform with an attitude!
Every morning I get up and pray my “cute” little platform is going to let me begin the day with a rousing “GREAT!” when I step on. As I write this, I’m into my 27th day and I’ve heard it only once – and I think that’s when the dog stepped on it by accident.
Before I can even get into the workout portion of my Wii experience, I am asked to tell my beloved Wii how much the clothes I am wearing weigh. When I tell the truth, I don’t like the result, so quite often I fib and let it think I’m wearing something akin to a football uniform or coat of armor (don’t tell it I’m in my jammies, okay?) Regardless of how I fib, it still tells me I’m obese (this after losing nearly 40 pounds!) As a part of the program it has asked me how much more weight I hope to lose. When I reply, I could swear I hear it laughing.
Okay, I’m still not to my workout because the Wii wants to give me a couple of tests to see how my balance and agility are. How hard can that be? The first test consists of a couple of blue graph bars. I’m instructed to try to get the red line into the blue graph areas by shifting from one foot to the other. Piece of cake. WRONG! I’m standing on my left foot, I’m switching to my right foot – I’m practically standing on my head – and I still can’t get past 30 when it gives me a score. Let me just say that 30 is not good. I’m assuming that it’s possible to get 100 – but I haven’t really wanted to inquire, since if it’s something like 1,000 I’m in really bad shape.
Once that test is complete my “cute” little platform says it has another test for me. This time it wants me to shift from one foot to the other to see how many of the blue boxes I can “hit” in a given span of time. I’m hitting boxes like crazy and think I’m doing really well. WRONG! When I’ve completed this task the “cute” little platform asks me if I trip when I walk.
The icing on the cake is when I get to see my fitness age. Even standing in my living room by myself, I’m usually not ready for this. On a good day it may praise me as being fit as a 44 year old (but those good days are generally the ones where I have cheated!) On a bad day it has told me I’m the equivalent of a 77 year old. Now, if I was 77 that would be fine – but I’m a far cry from that age – so I find myself starting to give my “cute” little platform the evil eye. If it wants a reason to say “OH!” I’ll give it one!
After several minutes of being weighed, tested and insulted, I’m ready to actually begin my workout. In order to get 30 minutes in each morning, I’m now getting up at 5:00 am. I’m thinking the “cute” little platform is looking more and more like it might be a good place to take a nap.
Finally, I am allowed access to the actual fitness activities. I figure Hula Hooping should be a cinch. I’m not too bad and actually get three stars for my efforts. Once I’ve Hula Hooped in both directions I decide to try my hand at soccer. I’ve never played soccer in my life, but I’ve never walked a tight rope either, so I’m game. All I have to do is shift my weight from side to side as the balls head in my direction so I can bop them with my noggin. Balls are flying at me from all directions. No one told me I would have to avoid hitting (or being hit) by the flying shoes and/or Panda heads. Oh, those tricky gamers are at it again – they realize a novice like me wouldn’t know the difference between a soccer ball and a Panda head. Gosh, they were right. I’m actually having difficulty telling the difference between a soccer ball and a shoe when they are flying through the air at me.
I’m as bad at virtual sports as I was at the real thing. I find myself ducking and cursing, and then laughing, because I can’t believe these games are getting the best of me. I yell at the screen, telling it “But I did have both of my feet firmly planted!” Or, “Hey, I didn’t miss that step – you’d better count it!”
After nearly 30 days, I have to say that my balance has improved and I actually look forward to working out. I’m certainly no Michael Phelps (although they haven’t created a swimming in my living room game yet – so there may still be hope for me!) But I am definitely seeing results and trying to do something healthy every day. I must say this certainly sheds a new light on the nursery rhyme about the little piggy who cried “Wii, Wii, Wii … all the way home!”
