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Are you confident your doctor provides the best care and is genuinely concerned about your feelings? Or do you continue seeing someone who is abrupt or uninterested, even though your blood pressure is usually higher when you leave the office than it was when you went in? Your relationship with your doctor is intensely personal, but sometimes, it may not be as fulfilling as you would like it to be.

Here are 10 signs that it might be time to find a new doctor.

1. Your doctor makes you wait too long.  If you consistently experience excessive scheduling delays, you’re still thumbing through waiting room magazines long after your appointment time, or your physician doesn’t respond to your calls in a timely manner, perhaps you should consider another physician.

2. Your doctor rushes through appointments. We all run behind schedule on occasion. But if your doctor always rushes through your breast exam and leaves you with a list of unanswered questions, think twice about your next visit. You deserve your doctor’s full attention during appointments. If he seems distracted or breezes in, looks at his watch and heads for the door while you’re in mid-sentence, it’s time to look for someone who values your time much more and manages his own time more efficiently.

3. Your doctor doesn’t listen. Studies show that doctors frequently interrupt patients. This behavior is not only annoying and unprofessional; it can be hazardous to your health. Doctors who have an “I-speak-you-listen” attitude run the risk of misdiagnosis when they don’t gather adequate information about your symptoms or side effects.

4. Your doctor is uncommunicative or doesn’t communicate clearly. You should feel comfortable talking to your doctor without worrying that she’ll think your comments are silly or unimportant. She should clearly explain test results, for example, and describe why she recommends a particular treatment. Speak up if you’re confused or don’t understand. If she makes more eye contact with her note pad than with you, speaking candidly may change her behavior. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t understand. Can you explain that again in simpler terms?”

5. Your doctor is impersonal. If your doctor acknowledges you only with a curt nod or no eye contact, or if she is unsympathetic, distant or condescending, she may not be the one for you. If you’re confident you’re receiving appropriate care, you may be willing to work at the relationship. But you never have to settle for insensitive or inappropriate.

6. Your doctor has little or no regard for your concerns. You deserve a physician who acknowledges your feelings and truly cares about you. Maybe you feel your doctor is too quick to prescribe medication, refusing to discuss other ideas or alternative treatments. Perhaps you feel she doesn’t acknowledge or address your concerns about side effects from your treatment, even though you’ve mentioned them repeatedly. Does she seem confused or embarrassed when you express emotion? Your health concerns are deeply intimate. A doctor who doesn’t appreciate that is someone you don’t need.

7. Your doctor doesn’t welcome your questions. As patients, we see doctors for answers. Yet not having enough time to ask questions is a common patient complaint. The cause may be a doctor who rushes through appointments or discourages questions. Was he simply just writing and didn’t hear you, or does he consistently disregard what you say? Try repeating your question while using his name. Say something like, “Dr. So-and-so, this issue is important to me,” or “Dr. So-and-so, I need to know what to expect from chemotherapy.” A good doctor welcomes your interest and engages you in decisions about your care.

8. You don’t feel a personal connection with your doctor. Sometimes, even though a doctor is kind and understanding, you just don’t feel the close bond most of us want with our physicians. Ask yourself if you’re willing to overlook subtle personality differences or if having a stronger connection is important to you. Remember that relationships usually take time to develop, and it may take more than a single visit to establish the rapport you want. If you’re uncomfortable or disappointed by your interactions, even if you can’t quite figure out why, trust your instinct.

9. Your doctor is uninformed or incompetent. We trust our physicians to be capable, and we have high expectations that they will diagnose and treat us without significant mistake. Your doctor must be up-to-date on medical discoveries and trends and be able to determine whether traditional, alternative or new treatments are best for you. If you feel uncomfortable about your doctor’s decisions or recommendations, it’s time to make a change. You may decide to continue seeing a skilled physician with a less-than-stellar bedside manner, but an inept doctor, no matter how kind or caring, is a poor caretaker of your health.

10. Your doctor is unethical or unprofessional. If you feel your doctor acts unprofessionally (he makes insensitive remarks about your looks or weight) or unethically (he falsifies credentials or provides treatment without your consent) confront him with your concern. If you’re uncomfortable doing so, file a grievance with your state’s medical licensing board.

Consider your alternatives

Like all relationships, both you and your physician have important responsibilities in your partnership. He should treat you with professional care and concern. You must have realistic expectations: don’t anticipate an instant cure, for example. Be honest about your symptoms, side effects, and any behavior, like smoking or excessive drinking, that affects your health. Follow your physician’s directions, and tell him when you fail to do so. Participate in the interaction, don’t try to control it. And while you may be angry at your condition, don’t take it out on your doctor. Inquire or disagree without being difficult or hostile.

Many of us stay with the same doctor when we’re disappointed or angry because we feel a sense of loyalty or we are intimidated by the physician. If something about your doctor bothers you, ask yourself if it can be improved. Try speaking candidly about making your interactions better: Saying “I feel that you disregard my questions and concerns” may bring about the improvement you seek. If you’re uncomfortable discussing these issues with your doctor, try asking your primary physician, another doctor in the same practice, or an office nurse to act as a liaison.

Moving on

If you decide to part ways with your doctor, work within the guidelines of your insurance policy to find another physician who is a better match. If you prefer to avoid any further interaction, request your records be transferred to your new doctor. But if you want to let your physician know why you’re leaving, send him a letter.

Remember, your relationship with your doctor should be a partnership based on mutual trust. You’ll feel more confident in your treatment and feel better about your interactions when you choose someone who treats you with kindness, respect and effectiveness.